There is always two side of me , one showing out & another one hide inside . I tell myself , i need to smile . So that people wont see that i'm hurt . Everyone thinks that i'm alright . Yes , i'm alright outside , you can see a girl w a smile everyday but you won 't know , deep inside her heart , she's crying . She cry herself to sleep every night . She want to fall asleep one night w a smile on her face , but it seems very hard for her .
She wants to fall in love w you but she is afraid of getting hurt , afraid of lies & afraid she will end up w tears in her eyes . You won 't understand her feelings , you can' t feel the pain she feel now . All you do is getting around w girls & tell her about it . She is like your toy . Whenever you need her you will look for her , or you just leave her alone in the dark .
But when she look you in the eyes , she forgot , she forgot all the pain you've caused . She appreciate the moment she spent w you in every single minute . The moment she spent w you is the moment she treasure . All she want to do is sitting beside you , watching you w a smile . She loves it , when you grab her into your arms . She will always remember you put your arms around her for the first time . She will never forget that .
She is afraid , that will be the last & goodbye kiss . She never want the kisses be goodbye kiss . She keep forgive & forget . But she knew in the end she will get hurt . But for now , she tell herself , there is still a chance to be w him . She wants to tell him how much she miss him , she wants to tell him how much she love him . But she can 't . She know he won 't love her back . She rather hide her feelings because she know once she tell him , he will ignore her & not talking to her . Everything will change in one second .
She always control herself for not talking to him . Because she want him to text her first . Even it's just a minute , at least she' ve crossed his mind . Everyday her phone ring , she tell herself it 's not you . But inside her heart , she wish to see your name in her inbox . Expectation failed everytime . She tell herself not to expect anything .
She miss you every single day , every minute . Sometimes she keep herself busy so that she wont think about him . But whenever she stop , he will pop out her mind automatically & she started to think back the times they spent together . What she got now is all memories . Maybe she is the only one who really care bout you , or maybe not . She want you to notice her but you will never notice her . Untill the day she is gone , only he will realise how much she cared for him but it 's all too late .
She love him , she miss him , Sometimes she hate him . She wants to scold him but end up nothing goes on . She want him to appreciate her but she know it wont happen . She love him for who he are but he dont even care bout her . She not guarantee that he will need her one day . She hope when she is gone , he know how to take care himself .
She love him , so much . You will never know .
xoxo .
